Today’s the 29. I can’t believe it’s the end of February already. “At least you got an extra day this semester,” my mom said. I’m guessing she meant “to do work.”
Because that makes so much difference.
In two weeks, I’ll be on Spring Break, and after blinking about three times, the semester will be over. I’ll be donning black-and-gold.
I’ll have some letters after my name.
I have no idea what my life will be like in 60-some odd days. No idea.
But it’s Friday, and I have a long time between then and now. I finally have an idea for a paper with the Bear (20-odd pages, so-un-yay): Secrets in women’s writing. I’m not sure how it will work, but I’ve read a ton of short fiction by Kate Chopin, Sara Orne Jewett, Mary E. Dunbar Perkins (or something like that), and there are so many secrets within their stories.
It should prove to be an interesting topic, anyway. And the idea of “secret” is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately: the difference between secret and private; the economy of secrets — why they’re held, when they’re spent, what is obtained by the release of them.
And what is gained by releasing the hold of a secret is something that I’m well, well, well familiar with.
It’s a miracle, by the way. What I’ve gained with the release of a secret is nothing short of miraculous.
I’m so far behind with everything: blogging, paper-writing, classwork, everything, and yet I am having such a good time these days that I just can’t seem to help but be obnoxiously happy…even when I’m tired, ragged, grumpy, whatever. It never seems to last long, and I’m back to being obnoxiously happy again.
Sherry once told me “Everything is negotiable.” It was in terms of organization and prioritizing, of which I can appreciate, but I’m actually working with determining what is not negotiable in my life, and it’s had amazing results.
As I put more and more “non-negotiable” parts into my days, I’ve noticed that I’ve become less stressed rather than more stressed. Prayer and meditation are non-negotiable. Exercise is non-negotiable. Keeping in contact with friends is non-negotiable. Spending time with my kitties is non-negotiable.
School work isn’t non-negotiable. I suppose it should be, but I’ve somehow shifted focus away from it, and, while my work load (or my dedication, for that matter) has not changed, my stress level has immensely.
And it’s a wonderful, wonderful thing.