Love, Love, Love

lloyd-dobler

This past weekend, somewhere between the house cleaning, the hair-twisting tooth-pulling (i.e., writing), the crawfish, and the general aches and pains, I realized that I love my life.

I mean. I REALLY love my life.

Sure, I could do with a maid that appeared when I snapped my fingers, a bit more financial security, and a bit less 9-5, but I  REALLY do love my life.

I don’t know the last time that I felt that. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt that.

It’s a Lloyd Dobler-holding-a-boom-box kind of love, and I serenaded it with family and sunshine and splurging on some really, really good crawfish.

I love it so much that I actually canceled Netflix.  It’s probably temporary, and yes, I’ve already seen this season of House of Cards (as evidenced by a higher water bill from all of the showers I had to take to rinse the slime off).  It’s not even about the $8 a month, because really, it’s one of the most affordable forms of pre-packaged entertainment available. I am watching my pennies (well, except for crawfish because, well, because crawfish), but that’s not it at all.

I’m changing my routine. It’s almost—but not quite—automatic. I played a Marvel Avengers game for a couple of years up until about a month ago. That left more time for writing, and now the lack of Netflix will add more time for writing, too. It wasn’t a struggle to let go, surprisingly. It was more like “Huh. I could do that.”  And did it. No fuss, no muss, no clinging.

It’s not that I don’t love Netflix. I do love Netflix. My priorities have just rearranged, almost without my really doing anything.

I’m amazed.

I’m making a push. It’s still slow-going with the constant self-edits, but it’s moving. And I want to get the draft finished as soon as possible. When it’s done, I want to sit on it a couple of months, play around with a couple of shorts I have started, and do an all-over-edit from beginning to end.

And move forward.

With the chapter I’m writing now, nearly double the word count of any other chapter, I find it’s transforming into something. Something delicious. Something that seems to take on a life of its own.  A simple phrase change set in motion an entire chapter, an idea for more material earlier in the draft.  It’s meatier. And something I can’t quite explain.

And this is the part where I realize I’ve changed from loving the finished product to loving the process.

I know that not all moments will be like this. I know all weekends will not be as absolutely perfect as this one.

I’m just loving the hell out of now.

Also this:

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2 thoughts on “Love, Love, Love”

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